Saturday 15 May 2010

IN A PERFECT WORLD...

You’d get another 10 years between 25 and 40, so you had ample time to finish studying, progress your career and have your children, without having to sacrifice anything.

Men would also have the babies, so you could have one each. Deciding who would go first would be the only sticking point.

Periods would last one day; no, I wouldn’t get rid of them totally, as it is a good reference point to know that all the mechanics are working and that you’re not pregnant – but one day is all I need for that information.

Men would never fart.

High heels would never damage your back or hurt your feet.

Clothing sizes would start at size 12 and ridiculously skinny women like Posh would have to make do with babies clothes, or simply wear a band-aid.

There would be no “bad hair days”.

You would get a kind letter from the bank if your account was overdrawn, where they would offer sympathy, blame themselves for letting it happen, and offer counselling to assist you to correct the balance.

There would be no automated voice recordings when ringing banks, internet providers or the pizza delivery joint.

Babies stayed babies for at least three years, and then suddenly morphed into eight year olds.

Every traffic light would be green.

Women would be the world leaders and solve everything over a nice cup of tea whilst complimenting each other on their fabulous shoes.

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